At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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