The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
