i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dear god my vagina.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
