Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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