it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
As shirtless as possible
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I lost the right to judge tonight
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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