we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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