i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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