Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
