I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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