all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
