More tranny stories later!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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