I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize