I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
