i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
