I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
