they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
