My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
