hell yes lets make some ravioli
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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