I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
