You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
