What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
