so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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