just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
