bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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