Pappa wants mamma naked
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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