I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
