turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
