I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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