trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
