try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
