note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
