As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
