know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
