OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
