Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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