I'm eating all of the evidence.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
