for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
be right there i have to get my cape
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
