My room smells like vodka and shame
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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