Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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