Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
