dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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