i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
