I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Terrible idea I love it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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