Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
