i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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