You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
