I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
