I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
