Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
