remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
