Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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