One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
