Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
