I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize