Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
