I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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