if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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