Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
