i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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