I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
